Totem
by JenniferJF
Summary: Updated: We saw why Helen left what she left at the end of Eulogy. But what about the others?
1. Big Foot

He paused on the threshold, suddenly unsure if he should proceed. He had never seen one up close before, and the small form lying in her mother's lap seemed so small and frail, especially compared to infants of his own species. As he watched, one impossibly tiny hand stretched up from within the blankets and Helen, her face radiant in a rare moment of unguarded happiness, held her finger out for her daughter's seeking grasp. Long moments passed as he considered whether he should step forward with the tea service or leave the two their privacy, but the doctor had ordered him to bring her refreshment, and so eventually, still hesitant to disturb, he coughed discreetly from his place at the door.

Helen looked up and smiled warmly at him. "Please, come in."

"I.. Uh.. Didn't want to disturb…"

"No. It's quite alright. I've been expecting you. Doctor's orders, and all that."

"He said you should eat."

"And James is absolutely correct. If you would…?" she asked, motioning towards the empty space in the bed next to her.

He stepped forward, gently setting the tray down in the spot indicated while keeping a careful eye on the now sleeping child to ensure she was not disturbed. Helen must have followed his gaze, for she lifted her daughter towards him. "Would you like to hold her while I eat?"

"I… Uh…" The thought terrified him. The child seemed so breakable.

Helen smiled at his hesitation, and, as if reading his mind, observed, "She won't break. I promise."

He wasn't so sure, but he couldn't resist the pleading look on Helen's face. At his reluctant nod, she leaned forward and gently set the child into his outstretched arms. "Make sure to support her here... And here…" she instructed, carefully positioning the child before sinking back against her pillows.

Which left him standing there next to the bed, hardly daring to breathe lest he disturb the tiny infant nearly lost in his massive embrace. A child who, despite her mother's reassurances, still appeared as breakable as the finest china. He had never felt so large and clumsy in his life.

Then as he watched, a slight shudder passed through the sleeping form and her eyes opened, hazy blue newborn eyes seeking and finding his own. And in her gaze - for the first time in as long as he could remember - he found neither fear nor curiosity. Interest nor alarm. Instead, he saw absolute trust. Absolute faith. Absolute acceptance. This child, this brand new human being free from preconceptions and prejudice, saw him, and not simply the creature he appeared to others.

And in that moment he knew the child and her mother's instincts were correct. She was not breakable, and, in his arms, she was absolutely safe.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-

He walked as softly and quietly as he could, careful not to wake the child or her mother. Bending down, he placed the small object he carried next to the child sleeping peacefully in her cradle. The Hachi doll, made for him by his own mother to ward off the demons of the forest, was one of the few items he had taken with him upon leaving his home and people so many years before. It would now protect this child as it had once protected him.

He gently reached down, stroking the child's smooth cheek with his own coarse, hairy finger and she shifted slightly at the touch; he imagined he could almost see her smile. The small totem, made of twigs and string, would protect her. And so would he. For as long as he was able.


	2. Henry

The young boy paused before the threshold of the room, unable for the moment to continue his passage down the hall. Yet at the same time, he knew he could not enter and become part of the scene before him, though it called to him in a way he could not fully understand. Helen and Ashley sat together within the circle of light and warmth cast by the fire crackling in the room's large fireplace, the young girl upon her mother's knee, head nestled against the older woman's shoulder. Helen's head was bent over the book in her hand, and from where he stood by the door, Henry could just make out the gentle tones of her voice though he couldn't make out the words themselves. Helen's free arm circled her daughter's shoulders, holding her securely in her place.

He hadn't meant to intrude. He'd intended to quickly continue down the hall, but some noise of sound or change in the flow of air must have alerted the girl, and she looked up suddenly to see him standing in the doorway. "Hi, Henry!"

He stepped backwards quickly into the darker hall, afraid of Helen's reaction to his eavesdropping. But before he could make good his retreat, Ashley called out, "Where ya going?"

"I.. uh…"

Ashley looked up at her mother. "Henry can stay if he wants to, right Mommy?"

Helen glanced down at her daughter as she eagerly looked up into her face. "Yes, darling. Of course he may."

Ash turned back to Henry victoriously. "See? Come here," she ordered, motioning towards the empty seat next to them. "Mommy reads the best stories."

Henry looked back to Helen, still not certain he was really welcome. "You sure?"

Helen nodded, but it was the smile on her face which truly convinced him as she answered, "She's the boss."

Smiling widely himself - feeling rather foolish but suddenly not caring - Henry settled into the indicated spot. And soon discovered Ashley had been correct. Helen read a very good story.

It may have been the first time he joined them for Ashley's bedtime story, but it was most certainly not the last.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

"Hi, Henry! Whatcha doin'?"

Henry looked up from the radio he'd been busily taking apart to see two bright blue eyes under blonde bangs staring at him over the edge of his desk.

"Hey, Ash. Just.. You know…" he waved his screwdriver vaguely over his latest 'project.'

"Uh-huh… Does the Big Guy know what you've done with his radio?"

"His… Um…" He'd had no idea. "I found the set.. I mean…"

The young girl giggled. "It's okay. I'm pretty sure he won't kill you… Probably," she added trying to sound as ominous as a four year-old could sound. Then, relenting: "I'm just kidding. It's not his. I think…"

"Ash…" He tried to sound adult and authoritative. She giggled again. It was pointless. He set down the screwdriver with a loud sigh. "What do you want?"

"It's my bedtime." At his blank look, she continued, "Time for my bedtime story…?"

"I thought your mother was out-of-town."

"She is."

"Then…"

"You can read."

"So can you, if it comes to that," he pointed out.

"I can't read myself a bedtime story!" she exclaimed, as if that was the stupidest idea ever. And at her conviction, he was fairly sure it was.

"Ash…"

Her lower lip was starting to quiver. He _hated it when she did that. "Please?" _

He sighed. Heavily. "Okay…. But just this once."

Her face immediately broke into a radiant smile, and he realized he'd been manipulated. Again.

"Great. Here," she ordered, thrusting the book she'd been hiding behind her back under his nose.

He took it. He didn't have much choice. "Frankenstein?" he asked, reading the spine.

"Mommy won't read it to me."

He could understand why, and was about to tell her so, when she asked again, "Please?"

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

It wasn't so bad, really. Even kind of nice. Ashley had started out sitting next to him on the settee, but as he'd read she'd sunk down next to him until, by the end, she'd been lying with her head pillowed in his lap. It wasn't until he noticed her breathing had grown soft and rhythmic that he'd realized she'd fallen asleep.

He set the book down and gently shook her shoulder. "Hey.. Ash?"

Her eyes opened slowly, "Yeah?

"You were sleeping."

She yawned, and for once didn't argue. "Yeah."

"Let's get you to bed."

He helped her stand up, and led her to her bedroom. As he was crossing to the door after tucking her in, she called to him from the bed, her voice thick with sleep, "Hey.. Henry?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

"Anytime, kid."


	3. Will

Will shifted the van into Park and turned off the ignition. As he was reaching to open his door, Ashley gestured with her thumb to the back of the van, observing, "We've still got hours to drive before we get this guy home. I'm gonna run in and grab something to drink. Want anything?"

He shook his head, "No, thanks. I've got to go in myself anyway when I'm done."

"Okay, see ya inside, then." She slipped from her seat onto the concrete and crossed to enter the gas station.

When he entered the station himself a few minutes later, the van's tank filled, he headed to the back to take care of his own business before grabbing a bottle of Coke from one of the refrigerated cases. Ashley was waiting for him next to the register at the front of the store.

As he finished paying for his soda, he noticed Ashley staring at the display of single stem roses sitting on the counter, absently stroking one of the soft red petals with her finger. "Pretty, aren't they?" he asked.

She shrugged noncommittally and pulled her hand back quickly. "I guess…. It just seems like $8.99 is a bit much for just a flower. And they've been sitting out here for who knows how long… They're not exactly fresh."

He smiled as he followed her out of the store and toward the waiting van. "It's the thought that counts. Sometimes, nothing says the right thing except a rose. Know what I mean?"

She shrugged again before climbing into the passenger seat. "Yeah… maybe. I guess." There was a hesitancy in her response that made him wonder, though.

Will settled into the driver's seat and turned on the ignition. Shifting into Drive, he pulled out of the gas station. As he drove, he could see Ashley toying nervously with the corner of her leather jacket in the seat next to him. "Hey…."

She turned to him, her hands stilling in her lap. "Yeah?"

"Don't worry. You will."

"Will what?"

"Know what it's like - someday - to get a rose. You just need to find the right guy." She looked at him for a moment, then snorted. He couldn't help but smile. "I know, sounds like a line… But it's true, Ash."

"Yeah, right. Lets face it, I'm just not the kind of girl guys give roses to. More thorns then petals, I'm afraid."

He couldn't help chuckling even though it really wasn't true. "Like I said, you just need to find the _right _guy."

His laughter proved infectious; it managed to get a small smile from Ashley, too. "I wish he'd hurry up, then."

"Don't worry," he repeated. "You've got time. Someday, the right guy will come along. A guy who appreciates petals _and _thorns."

He had expected a sarcastic retort. Receiving none, he spared his companion a sideways glance. She was staring out the window, lost in the thoughts his words evoked, her features softened in a rare unguarded moment. And he knew, with absolute certainty, that one day Ashley would understand exactly why $8.99 was never too much to spend on a rose.

Will smiled to himself.

Petals indeed.


End file.
